Okay…

…so, I gots a collar!  😀 😀 😀

I am all kinds of happy about it!  This isn’t “The Collar,” but it is quite sufficient for now.  We both want me to have one that never comes off.  We want me to have an all the time symbol of the fact that I belong to Him.  We are, however, somewhat subtle people.  I am totally on board with the argument that many have that it shouldn’t make a difference that it looks like a collar, if that is the symbol we have chosen…and that most women wear ‘collars’, just around their fingers instead of their necks.  I totally agree with all that, in a general sense.  But I also believe that things like this should be very personal…no matter the symbol chosen.

Not all women want a diamond ring.  Not all women want gold.  And, for the most part, that is fairly socially acceptable.  Show someone your sapphire and silver engagement ring, and they are most likely okay with separating from tradition a little.  But, let’s leave those normal vanilla things alone for a moment.  We in the kinky world tend to be accepting of BOTH sides of the coin, mostly because we have to live in a vanilla word, and a good part of ourselves tend to be vanilla too.  So, we can see the importance of a ring, and not think anything of it (even if it isn’t for us).

In OUR world, a collar is just as meaningful (if not more so, I wonder) as a ring.  And it its meaning is fairly universal, just like a ring.  There are variances, of course, just like the vanilla counterpart.  But, I think all of us subby girls get that squealy and excited giggle when one of us shows off her new collar.  Just like a woman fanning her hand around the lunch table when out with her girlfriends.

“Oh!  Look how pretty!  It looks so good on you!  He did such an amazing job picking it out just for you!”

I think that can apply to both, can’t it?  🙂  Anyway…I say all that because the collar He gave me is more or less a toy.  It is something for Him to grab on to and hold while we play.  It is something for Him to smile about when He sees it around my neck.  It has meaning, sure, but not the same as it might to some.  It is leather (pretty pink leather!), and quite clearly a collar.  Not that this is an issue when we are at home.  I think we both were on board with this one being just a toy.  But then we saw it on me.  He said He liked the idea of me leaving it on.  I liked that idea too.

I thought about it, and realized that sometimes you have to conform, even when you don’t really want to.  There are a good many reasons I don’t have the collar on as I type this.  I wear it at night, after the kids are tucked in bed.  I sleep with it hugging my neck, and He takes it off in the morning before He goes to work.  He knows what giving me that collar means to me.  But He also knows that I am a bit uncomfortable wearing something so obvious around other people.

I realized that I don’t really have much of an issue wearing it out in public…but I felt a little bit weird when I thought about my kids being with me.  I can handle some Southern Baptist woman calling me ‘child’ and condemning my choices.  But if the kids are with me?  That’s not fair.  They know their mommy loves them.  They know He loves them.  And they only see the normal parts of ‘us’.  But the know-it-all strangers won’t know that.  So, I will gladly put my collar in the drawer by my bed when I am with my children.  Perhaps when they are older, it won’t be such a big deal, but for now, let’s save them any heartache possible.

We also have Pam to think about.  She doesn’t HATE this about us, but she tends to go back and forth between calling it a game we play, and thinking that it is wrong.  So, rather than having to defend this, I would rather her not see a piece of leather around my neck.  She won’t understand, even if, as He pointed out, she wears one too…just around her finger.  I won’t even TRY that argument with her, though.  She often has a hard time seeing reason, especially when that reason contradicts her own opinion.  So, I will keep it tucked away.

Hopefully some day I will have a permanent collar.  One that looks like a beautiful necklace, but stays locked around my neck forever.  I suppose that ‘hopefully’ is unnecessary.  Of course I will have one.  And until then, we will have lots of fun with this one.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sephani Paige
    Dec 29, 2010 @ 14:46:37

    speaking of permanent collars, I’m totally lusting after this one!!

    http://www.richardlarsen.co.uk/necklaces/collars/solid-8×4-collar-curved-/prod_536.html

    if only the price weren’t so…ZOMG yanno 😛

    Reply

  2. baby girl cricket
    Dec 30, 2010 @ 14:17:15

    That is so great sweetie! Congrats. Sounds like things are going much better there, I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus, but back now and need to get caught up on your blog. 🙂

    xo
    baby girl cricket

    Reply

    • HisMoonFairy
      Dec 31, 2010 @ 00:23:18

      Things are quite awesome between He and I. It makes me sad, but we are more or less learning to function without Pam, and she seems to be okay with that. She let us know a little while ago that she no longer wants it to be the three of us, and while we both feel for her and understand her feelings, there isn’t much that can be done about it now. So, she just kinda comes and goes as she pleases, and I pretty much mind my own when she is around. I hope the tension fades soon, but I am finding it quite helpful to let most of it roll right off my back.

      But, I have resolved to not whine and complain about her anymore, and if I don’t have anything nice to say, I keep my little mouth shut…most of the time! Glad you are back, hun! *goes over to YOUR blog to catch up too*

      Reply

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