Relaxing

The weekend was wonderfully relaxing.  He hung out in my room most of the weekend, but that is probably because I moved one of the TVs and the Xbox into my room!  Well, that is only part of it.  He says my room is so pretty and relaxing.  That when He wants to just unwind or be calm, it is my room that He wants to be in.  I am sure this is for a lot of reasons.  His room is BEYOND messy.  Well, all of it except His side of the bed.  Pam doesn’t really understand the basics of putting things away.  I took pictures one time, just for the hell of it.  But my room is always clean, my bed is made, and everything is pretty and purple.  My bed is ridiculously comfortable, too.  When my curtains are closed, everything is bathed in a soft purple glow.  So when He is stressed or just needs some time to unwind, I can usually find Him in my room.

It makes me feel good that He likes my space so much.  I don’t really mind that most of the time He doesn’t sleep in there with me.  Usually on Saturday nights, He does, and that is enough for me.  I like having my own room.  I like having a space that is just mine and that is so pretty and comfortable.  It is all those things to me too.  I love being in my room.  It is one of my favorite places.  I love when He comes in to tell me goodnight, and I love when He sits in my big comfy chair (that He bought me for my last apartment).

He mentioned my tattoo again yesterday.  He was rubbing my back and said that He wanted to get me a tattoo.  I got a little quiet and then told Him that it was important that He want to keep me forever if He was going to put a tattoo on me.  He reassured me that of course He wants to keep me forever.  “We are permanent.” That made me feel a lot better.  With all that has been going on with Pam (not sure if you’ve noticed…but I refuse to talk about her here anymore, at least in too much detail anyway) lately, I often get scared that He will send me away.  She more or less said the other day that she wished He and I had never started, and that she was “heart-broken” when she found out that it would not be a temporary thing.  He made sure I knew that He had told her that there are three of us involved now.  And that it is too late to change her mind, and she can either get on board with making it work, or move on.  And He held me close while He told me if she ever demanded that I move out, that I would…but that He would come with me.

It was a good weekend.  I held Him a lot, and He told me that His safe place is in my arms.  That He feels relaxed and stress-free when I am holding Him.  That made me feel really good.  I know I am so often the source of stress for Him, even though it is usually because of Pam.  He reassured me that He would protect me from how mean and argumentative she has become.  I am much more confident now.  I feel much better about how weird things have been, and how up in the air I have been feeling.

OH!  We went to the grocery store, and I got yummy spanks and His hands down my pants in the snack food isle!  It was quite unexpected, but also very very hot.  I love little things like that…makes me feel so wholly His.  🙂

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