Rant much?


I am annoyed.  With Pam, as usual.  I suppose I should learn to let a thing or two go, but I think maybe that attitude works best when EVERYONE is doing that.  But when you are the only one expected to let things just roll right off your back, it gets a bit frustrating.  Yet again, perfectly angelic behavior is expected of me, and she just gets to do whatever she wants.  We have been here about a month now.  And I am still sleeping on the couch.  That would be fine, except that she has moved back in the bed with Him.  (She still claims she’s moving out and needs her space though, btw)

I could not care less where she sleeps.  Sleep with Him, sleep across the hall, sleep on the fucking roof for all I care.  But make up your damn mind.  And once you do, clean up the fucking room you were taking up.  I spent two fucking days cleaning the two extra rooms upstairs a couple of months ago.  TWO FUCKING DAYS.  I moved beds and couches and dressers and night stands and boxes and packed and moved and organized and cleaned and vacuumed and straightened.  I have pictures.  Ask me for them, I’ll show them to you.

And when Princess Pam decided she wanted space and needed to move across the hall, this put the kids in one room, and this fairy on the couch.  And she just sleeps wherever.  In the office across the hall?  If she feels like it!  In the bed with Him?  If it suits her fucking needs and wants! I don’t even want to sleep in bed with Him specifically, I just think that in this three bedroom apartment, that there is enough room that I shouldn’t be put away and shoved onto the couch.  But…and here’s the kicker…

He says I should offer to help her straighten up the room that SHE messed up so that I can sleep in there?  HELL FUCKING NO!  Two damn days…two days.  A total of roughly damn near 20 hours I spent working on those rooms…did I mention they were WRECKED?  I absolutely WILL NOT offer to help her.  Mainly because she won’t do ANYTHING if I am there helping her.  She will yammer on and on about what each fucking piece of paper means to her, and how every single scrap of everything has to be saved forever because of some bullshit attachment she has to it.

So, I will end up doing all the work AGAIN.  NO NO NO NO NO!!!  I know we are supposed to be treating her like she’s made of glass, but I have had just about all I can take of that.  The world, this relationship, and I do NOT revolve around her.  And He loves her so desperately that He lets her get away with EVERYTHING and ANYTHING just because He doesn’t want her to leave.  And I get that.  I really do.  But I think she is starting to catch on.  She’s starting to figure out that she can rant and rave, throw a fit and do whatever the fuck she wants, and she will get away with it.  He won’t say anything to her, and if I try to, He will instantly shut me up.  She’s smart…she’s starting to get it.

And I am expected to wait.  Always to wait.  For Him, for her, for everything.  Maybe ONE DAY I’ll have the relationship that we used to all dream about, but probably not.  It all hinges on Pam, and what SHE wants.  Because that’s all that matters.  Whatever the fuck SHE wants.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: