Sigh

Hrm.  I’m not entirely sure where to start.  I haven’t been avoiding the blog lately, I’ve just been so distracted and busy, that writing has had to take a back seat for the past few days.  I don’t think I can handle this all going in one post, as it has been THE most eventful and emotional and crazy week EVER. To start the week off, Pam had a bit of a breakdown/epiphany moment last Sunday.  She cried and she talked and she confessed.  She has been unhappy for a long time, and she couldn’t hold it in any longer.  I had come to visit with the kiddos for the weekend, and after the long emotional Sunday night, I couldn’t leave them.  He needed me, she needed me, they needed me.  So we stayed. It has been a week now that we have been here, and it has been just so strange.  I want to write about it all and talk about it, and I will in the next couple of days.  But for tonight, I needed to get out the two important parts.  1. Pam needs emotional support.  She is in a weird place right now, and she needs loving reminders that He and I love her very much.  2.  We all live together now.  Scary, strange, and maybe way too soon, but it happened.  I think we all knew it would some day. The first one I can deal with rather easily.  I am good at fixing other people’s problems.  I can listen and support and help and hug.  And I will do just that.  It’s the second one that has me freaking out.  Interestingly enough though, the stress is almost gone.  It is virtually non-existant.  We all three have said that.  I think we all assumed that this would be a really hard transition for us to make, filled with stress and adjustment.  But it really hasn’t been.

I am still scared.  Probably more than they are, but not for the reasons I thought I would be.  It is a hard thing to step away from comfort.  To just leave behind without warning all that you’ve known.  I’m leaving my apartment, crappy as it may be, my Panda, my parents, the roads and places that are familiar and known like the back of my hand.  But it feels right.

More on all this later.  I just needed to let out a sigh on here.  🙂