Lucky girl

I have been trying to write a post all day.  And my mind won’t settle on one topic long enough to get out more than a paragraph or two.  As soon as I get a good rhythm going with something, the thoughts start flowing, and my little fingers are moving furiously over the keys, some other topic jumps in the way and starts screaming, “HEY!!  YOU!!  YEAH, YOU!  WRITE ABOUT ME INSTEAD!”  So I would get all kinds of distracted from where I was going at first, and start not making any sense.

Aside from the scatter-brained thoughts, it has been a delightful day.  He has left no doubt in my mind to whom I belong as of the past few days, and I feel deliciously owned and possessed.  I have been aching for more definition, and boy oh boy did I get it.  For every inappropriately timed sarcastic comment I’ve made, I’ve been swiftly corrected.  For every fit I’ve thrown, I’ve been explained the rules.  For every argument I’ve tried to start, I’ve been reminded that the option to argue is no longer something I have.  And for every tiny doubt, I’ve been graciously given 100 reassurances.

Now all I have to do is accept.  All I’ve ever wanted was to bask quietly in the glow of His love.  I have wanted to be His possession since I was a child.  And now I am.  I am His, I am loved, wanted, needed, desired, and taken care of.  There is no reason for me to be afraid, upset, mean, or sad.  All I have to do is be His.  I don’t have to manipulate Him to get Him to love me and pay attention to me, it comes naturally to Him.  I don’t have to beg Him to want me, I am forever in His thoughts.  I don’t have to trick Him into needing me, He can’t live without me.

Such a lucky girl I am.  HIS lucky girl. 🙂


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