July already?

It’s the first day of a new month.  This is the perfect time to start filling in my Food and Exercise Journals.  I need some structure and motivation to this weight loss journey that I’m on, and I am hoping that keeping a record of my actions will be helpful with that.  I am promising right now to be honest and not leave anything out.  If I eat a cookie, I will put it on the list.  Feel free to pop over to those journal pages and yell at me if you see I screwed up!  🙂

I’ve been reading a lot lately.  I am an information junkie.  I love knowing stuff about things.  Sounds generic, right?  Well, it kinda is.  Usually I have a thought about something, I do some Googling, read a little, and then have a basic understanding of a new topic.  And that’s good enough for me.  But every once in a while, something stays in my head.  Usually when I get the bug to look up information on something and learn about it, the bug goes on her merry way once I form an outline in my head.  But occasionally, the bug stays.  She wants to know more and more and more.  She doesn’t want just the outline, she wants a research paper, a doctoral thesis.  And she stuck around for a few months now.

Her quest for knowledge has led me all over the internets.  I’ve been to social networking sites to meet other people, I’ve been to blogs that are very explicit.  I’ve read through Wikis on every term there is to learn about, I’ve used a plain old dictionary.  I’ve watched movies, I’ve read books.  I’ve found good information, I’ve found bad information.  It has been one heck of a journey that she’s sent me on to figure all this out.  I am most certain she has taken up residence in my head, and has no intention of leaving any time soon.  I’m actually considering naming her.  So my quest for knowledge continues.

One thing I have learned is that just about everyone has a different opinion on the topic.  Most of the information has to be read and then reprocessed to apply to me.  *cough* I mean, her.  A lot of it is poorly written, very personal, or both.  So I have to pick out what is me her.  I read a hundred words, and seven apply.  I talk to five people, and they way only one of them does it is half right.  I am picking and sorting through all the information, opinions, and guides out there.  And while it is a slow process of weeding out what I need and want and what I don’t, I am making progress.  We are just a little bit closer to that book of information we are trying to write.

This is personal for us too.  I think it’s good to acknowledge that a lot of this is almost a separate part of me.  And that is honestly my struggle and the motivation for the research.  I am trying to reconcile these two parts of me.  I am learning more and more about myself every day.  I am getting closer and closer to melding these two parts of me.  The intelligent and independent woman, and the girl who is His.  They aren’t different people.  One doesn’t need to overpower the other.  They can, and will one day, coexist.  What I am teaching them to do is complement one another, and not conflict.  They need to get along, not fight for priority.  Because they are the same.  I just have to keep learning so that I can get them to see that.

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